Single Life 101 {How to stay single at a small Christian college when everyone* wants to get married* within a week* of meeting someone.}

March 21, 2014 § 1 Comment

I’m sure you’ve heard of people going to a Christian college with the intention of getting their “MRS” degree, or to find a nice wife, but what of the people who just want to enjoy single-dom (yes, I’m an English major and just made up a word)? It’s nearly impossible to remain single at a small Christian college, so here I’ll offer some plausible solutions.

*slight exaggeration

Solution 1: Wear Unflattering Cat Shirts 

Problem solved.*

*Unless someone mistakes this as an attractive quirk. I have not personally tested this out.

Solution 2: Feign Unintelligence

This is a great solution, as it will quickly deter anyone with the immediate intention of getting married.*

*…enough said

Solution 3: Be Anti-social

People who aren’t outgoing are less likely to get noticed by the majority of the opposite sex.*

*Unless your anti-social facade is mistaken for a gentle and quiet spirit.

!!!Warning!!! Do NOT under ANY circumstances:

  •  Quote or make any references to scripture. This may not be practical. (Bible teacher: What is the memory verse for this week? You: Uhhh…)

Advice from Hannah and Mercia:

  1. Discover what “couple traditions” there are and AVOID THEM. (eg. at Montreat, walking around Lake Susan with a person of the opposite sex means something, even if you think it doesn’t.) -Hannah
  2. Do not allow yourself to be seen with anyone of the opposite sex for more than 30 SECONDS. -Mer

*After talking to Hannah and Mer about this post, Hannah volunteered her cat shirts for modeling purposes. Take a look at the pictures to get the gist of the skill set required to repel fickle feelings.

 

~This blog post is dedicated to Hannah Black and Mercia for their love of cats.~

Hannah’s blog

Mercia’s blog

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§ One Response to Single Life 101 {How to stay single at a small Christian college when everyone* wants to get married* within a week* of meeting someone.}

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